I’m bringing the story back into 1st person with this post. Sorry about the mix up on the last two chapters. Eventually {maybe over the weekend} I will get chapters 6 & 7 rewritten into 1st person, without changing the story line.
I noticed that it was taking Claude several weeks to teach Ahmose his words, I also noticed that Ahmose took after me in appearance while Anwen looked more like Claude than me. She looked so much like Claude that I sometimes had trouble believing that I had given birth to her. Claude as before with Ahmose was wonderful with her, he was wonderful with both of them.
One night when I came in I discovered that Claude had crafted a second crib, and a small chamber pot for Ahmose to use. He even was training Ahmose to sit on it.
Late one night as I was playing with Ahmose I heard Claude softly singing something to Anwen. Why was he singing to her, he had never sung to Ahmose at that age.
That evening I filled in another panel of the wall with everything that had happened since Ahmose had been born. Claude watched silently for a minute and then rolled over and went to sleep. I missed his embraces and our gestured conversations. I decided that next time the opportunity presented itself for us to talk I would grab it.
One evening after tending my garden I saw an animal I hadn’t seen before in the yard. It looked friendly so I leaned down for it to sniff my hand as that seemed to be the right thing to do. It’s nose brushed the back of my hand and felt wet and slimy, I decided that I didn’t want anything more to do with the odd creature. Just then I spotted Claude, now was the time I had been waiting for.
I saw that Claude was looking over the plants, so I grabbed his hands and then shyly kissed him, I felt so bold for my actions. Claude didn’t seem to mind them at all, he even pulled me to the side and had me watch the sky with him. We took turns pointing at the stars in the sky.
A few days later Claude surprised me as I was tending to the garden. He grabbed me gently and turned me so my back was facing him. He then proceeded to rub my shoulders in a manner that was so relaxing that I didn’t mind that the garden wasn’t getting tended.
When Claude finished rubbing my shoulders he indicated that he thought I was lovely, the kiss he followed the comment with left me feeling like complete mush. when he lifted his head from mine he stared into my eyes and then gently nodded towards the trimmings pile. Did I want? Oh did I ever want, I guess it was silly since neither baby could walk yet but I had a sudden urge to make sure no one was looking as I joined him.
Several hours later we emerged, Claude went straight indoors we could both her Anwen fussing. I started to go to, he shook his head and pointed towards the garden, so I went back to tending my garden.
As I knelt amongst the plants I rejoiced in the growth of the seeds that had been the hardest to decipher. It had taken me a long time to figure out how to get them to grow, but finally it had come to me, if I cracked the husk, before soaking the seed it would sprout. I had tested my theory with a couple of the seeds and had been rewarded with plant shoots after a few days that survived when I planted them in the ground. I was so happy right then at that moment, Claude’s actions that morning indicated that he enjoyed my company and planned on staying around, I knew how to plant any kind of seed I found. I may not remember where I came from but things were going well and the future looked great. I heard Claude moving behind me and payed no attention, he had the children well in hand, the garden was progressing well. I had no worries at all.
As I headed in for the evening I noticed an old leaflet on the ground, as I picked it up I could hear Ahmose making sleepy sounds. Odd I thought Claude usually doesn’t leave leaflets lying around. I picked it up and headed inside, once in the door the silence hit me, one glance was all it took for me to see that Claude and Anwen weren’t in the shelter. My belly clutched and flipped, the world swam for a moment. I rushed to the edge of the cliff and looked down at the beach.
It was empty, except for a few birds, I called Claudes name and Anwens. Nothing but the cry of the birds answered me back. My head was spinning, how could this be, why? I wanted nothing more than to crumble to the ground and weep but I had to stay strong for Ahmose.
With heavy heart I went back inside the shelter and placed Ahmose in his chair so we could both have an evening meal. That was when I discovered the rest of what Claude had done, he had taken all but a small handful of the soup pouches, including all the ones that Anne had given me months ago. There wasn’t much to do but split a pouch between Ahmose and myself. From now on I would have to go back to having just one pouch a day, that is if anymore pouches showed up in the box. There hadn’t been any for several months now.
As I ate my small portion of soup my stomach continued to toss and turn. The shock of finding Claude and Anwen gone was making me sick to my stomach. after dinner I took Ahmose from his chair and placed him on his small pot just as Claude had done, how that name hurt to think.
Just as Ahmose was finishing my stomach gave the worst heave of the day and I could feel my freshly eaten soup rising in my throat.
As I watched for the 3rd time in my conscious life as my stomach emptied it’s contents into the chamber pot, I had the sinking feeling that Claude had not left Ahmose and I completely alone.
I felt ashamed and joyed at the same time, that the time with Claude had most likely left me expecting our 3rd child. Yet he would never know this child if I was with child again. I was torn between joy at the idea of maybe another daughter or son and the pain of the heartache I was feeling in my chest at the loss of my first daughter Anwen and the pain of being betrayed by Claude.
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